Does Notense Help You Sleep

Long time ago ...


I know it's a long time since I wrote my last entry ...
I had / have now very much going

I hate myself again just so beautiful
morning I come to little more time from the bed, because I can not be bothered ...
If I could, I would lie in bed all day stay

I realize that I am depressed again ...

I stand by it that I'm eating disorder
I stand by it that I would most like to wear size XXS
I stand by it that I feel like the fattest pig on the planet

And you know what? I WANT IT SO

!

But then again when the time comes where I simply would just like crying in bed - Eat nothing, see nothing, hear nothing - just silence and the big nothing - I'm beginning to think again ...

And everyone knows that thinking - this eternal thinking circles - the biggest enemy is ...
Then she speaks with you again ....

ANA .... our friend ... our enemy ... our beloved .... our addiction ... our fate

your words are but a whisper, but you think she screams at you - just why? Why did you become so fat again? You ate a slice of toast today? Are you crazy? Have you forgotten how beautiful thin were you? How much have you lost? No! Put the apple away! You can not eat anything today! And you the rest of the week will go hungry! Why the hell are you eating again?! You ruin everything!

I hate them ... I love her ...

Whether you good or bad, ANA is always there - but her words are so full of love as cruel
you is your alter ego ... the other side of the coin, the opposite of what you show the others ... brutally honest, relentless, relentless, uncompromising, dominant, brutal ...

you forces you to to run on and on, even though you feel your feet bleed and fall same from you ... it forces you to do with an empty stomach before your favorite food to sit and nothing to touch ... it forces you to his knees before the toilet when you should have dared to eat something ...

But you need ... your sister ... the only one who is honest with you and understands you

ANA ... Please do not leave me in my moment of weakness and help me continue on my way to perfection!

... But
ANA does not leave you.
ANA is always there.
you will stay with you - whether you like it or not ...